Oh, blogger friend Amanda commented on one of my last posts noting that 2012 is a leap year, and "what if the baby is born on February 29th??" - yes, I know :) And let's all hope that doesn't happen. I know some would think it was cool to be a leap year baby, but I would be very sad for only one "real" birthday every 4 years :( REALLY SAD. So, baby, please don't be born on February 29th, for your own sake!
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This photo is unrelated, but was taken on the same day I wrote this and is cute :)
Today will be a test of my ability to function on barely any sleep (thank you, insomnia!) and might be a two coke day. I try to reserve those for truly special occasions, like I literally cannot make it one second longer if I don't have more caffeine. Luckily cokes have not so much caffeine in them so I am still well under my pregnancy limit.
I am trying to continuously remind myself that I do truly love being pregnant. I am so glad to be pregnant, so so thankful that we are able to get pregnant easily, and I KNOW my sickness/exhaustion could be far worse. I also know that I will not feel this way forever. Right now I'm smack in the middle of it, and it does feel like I've been feeling crappy for so long and I still have sooo far to go... but I know it will end. I will feel better. Here's hoping that happens a tiny bit sooner than it did last time (I remember truly feeling better by 16 weeks but I THINK (hope?) it was a slow process maybeeee starting at like 13 weeks? Please???)
Last night was yet another very rough night. I had to leave work a bit early so I could try to take a nap before Annie got home from daycare. The nap didn't work well because I was too hungry and nauseous, but I still tried. Thankfully Annie is just fine with me laying on the couch - weirdly enough she only gets kind of pissed when I leave to go into the kitchen or something. Dinner didn't stay down and I ended up laying on the floor of the bathroom crying again. I usually am so logical and can tell myself that this is not that big of a deal, but it all got to me last night I guess - feeling like crap all the time, which means I have little patience when dealing with Annie and am really just getting through the days instead of enjoying them. I KNOW that she doesn't mind, but I do. I miss just being able to focus on her and have fun with her, instead of thinking about how I'd really rather be sleeping. 18 months is typically a trying age, and me being pregnant isn't helping, that's for sure.
It is really nice to be able to look back at my pregnancy posts from last time - to remind myself that once this sickness part is over, hopefully the pregnancies WILL stay similar because I had literally no problems for the rest of the time. I was able to have fun, eat things and actually enjoy them... just..... do things. It'll happen again. IT WILL. Obviously this pregnancy is going to be harder than the last because I can't just laze around all day, and take a nap the second I get home from work every day. I have a finite amount of energy - while when I am not pregnant, I'd get a 2nd wind when getting home, now that just doesn't happen and I basically am crashing and burning because I expended all available energy while at work. Let me just say once again how thankful I am that Ben has no problem REALLY stepping up during this time.
It also doesn't help to be waiting..... just waiting.... to get more confirmation that things are okay. Our next appointment is next Wednesday, and we hopefully will hear the heartbeat with the doppler then. I'm definitely a little less nervous than I was last time, but still will be VERY excited to be in the 2nd trimester in a few more weeks.
1 comments:
It's very easy to think our feelings or our problems aren't THAT important because oh, that person's parents died, or that person lost their 5 year old in an accident, or that couple lost both their jobs, or there are starving people in Somalia.
Yes, perspective is important, and thankfulness for our good lives is important, too, but we shouldn't diminish our own experiences and worries and feelings either. Yes, you're thankful to be pregnant because many women struggle, but does that mean you can't complain ever? No. You have every right to complain and feel crappy and cry about it.
We all have our own personal struggles and since these ones are happening to YOU, then they're important and you can go right ahead and say whatever you want. :)
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