Flashback: 8 Weeks, 4 Days

For those of you looking for reasons why to NOT get pregnant right now, or ever again, this post should be a good one. Thank the heavens above that I'm not feeling THIS bad anymore, although I did have another run in with the toilet (or actually, I missed, but whatever) last night. Also yes, this is the most pathetic picture ever, but it signifies a few weeks out of our lives so there you have it :)

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I've continued to feel pretty crappy this week, and have thrown up a few more times, each time feels more violent and painful than the last. The fatigue is getting to me even more and I'm kind of just feeling like a sad lump. I know thankfully that I had plenty of fun summer times before I started feeling sick, but knowing that in all likelihood, I won't really feel better until mid-September makes me really sad about "missing" this summer, and mostly missing this time with Annie. I know it's but a short blip of time, and she doesn't really seem to care (although is a bit upset when I jump up from the dinner table to run to the bathroom and slam the door) but getting home and immediately laying on the couch instead of really interacting is pathetic. I try to make the times I feel okay count with Annie because she is at a really fun stage right now. My time with her is spent more with me reading her a book or sitting with her and "pretending to go night night" (truly a fun game) more so than chasing her around, but that's fine. It just really isn't fun to feel like this and especially isn't fun to know that it probably won't ease up for at least another month if not 2.

I am trying a few things this time to make myself feel better - taking 50mg of vitamin B6 twice a day, as well as taking colace for my..... intestinal issues, shall we say. Neither are really working yet, but it's only been a few days. I'm hopeful that maybe there will be some relief soon, but not TOO hopeful. In the meantime, it was kind of a relief that the last week was too hot to really even WANT to go outside - made me feel less bad about being a lump on the couch.

The nurse on Monday talked a little bit about the deli meat situation when pregnant - she basically said, heat up meat you might get at places like the deli at a grocery store where it's been sitting out, but places like Subway and Jimmy John's go through so much deli meat that there's very little, if any, risk of listeria from there. She said she's never seen a case of it in her career. I'm SURE it does and has happened, but she told me what I wanted to hear :) So I went with that advice and got a few Jimmy John's sandwiches.... and they were amazing. And I was able to eat the whole thing. And it even had vegetables on it. So that's actually a big win for me. One of her biggest pieces of advice was just eat what sounds good and don't worry about the nutrition. I have massive guilt about all the CSA veggies that are going to waste that I really have no desire to eat, but I'm trying to just let it go. I know Ben is getting really sick of cooking meals that I really am not eating and a lot of the time Annie just picking at too. Fun!

As with everything, this too shall pass. I am still so happy and grateful to be pregnant that I try to remind myself of that at the low times. I am also still in the scary first trimester, and even after a good ultrasound I still am just waiting for our next appointment (at 10 weeks, 2 days - which was moved to 11 weeks, 1 day) to hear the heartbeat again so we can really release the news. I ordered a "I'm going to be a big sister" shirt for Annie, and I haven't decided if I'll try to see our families as soon as it comes or just wait for the appointment. We'll see.