Oh angry toddler photos! They really are just hilarious :)
A few people shared this article with me from NPR today:
Parenthood Got You Down? You're Not Alone
I was going to just share it on twitter, but I wanted a bit more space to elaborate on my thoughts on the subject. I have seen quite a few of these types of articles lately - namely one other one from the New York Times Magazine a few months ago - All Joy and No Fun - Why Parents Hate Parenting.
So yes, I think we can all agree that parenting (especially parenting a baby/toddler) is not a ball of fun at every moment, or even most moments. I feel like I've thankfully built a little community around myself that is very open and honest about the ups and downs of the entire process of parenting - from getting pregnant, staying pregnant, dealing with a newborn, and now all the bipolarity of a toddler in addition to expanding one's family. So I've never really had any illusions that anyone thought parenting was "fun", or that the journey to get there was easy.
I think that a large part of this community is because I myself am a very honest and open person - if you are that way to others, they respond in kind. I'm pretty sure a lot of my friends maybe aren't as open with everyone in their lives as they are to me, just because I invite that kind of conversation frequently. Not only in real life, but here on this blog, I've always been honest to a fault, including when I admitted to thoughts of wanting to trade newborn Annie in for a better model, that got me plenty of horrified emails from the Grandparents. Don't worry - if you'll recall, I reconsidered and she's thankfully here to stay ;) I'm so thankful to have such a great village of people around me so that I don't have to feel alone when I'm super frustrated and yes, ANGRY that Annie won't even take a BITE of food, or is staring at me defiantly as she throws her sippy cup of milk across the room after I asked her 1000 times to put it on the table NICELY and GENTLY.
HOWEVER - I will say that I think this topic has been talked about enough now for awhile. This is just life, people. It's all good... and bad. A little of both. Yeah, parenting isn't all great, but seriously? It's not THAT bad. There are lots of fun moments and if you aren't having ANY fun, you probably need to just chill out for awhile, especially if you and your family are healthy and have a roof over your head that you can afford. You are fine. It's also okay for people to share the good things too - without worry or fear that it'll come across as bragging. I really don't like people (or blogs for that matter) that veer heavily in the direction of one (life is always perfect!) or the other (life succkkkkkkkkkkkkks, wah wah) but continuing to share and talk about both the ups and the downs of parenting will hopefully make this journey a lot better for all of us.
9 comments:
agree 110% with all you've written. I definitely think the highs outweigh the lows here and everyone needs to chill out with the 'woe is me' stuff about parenting. I know my kid is relatively easy and I might eat my words someday, but I really do think it's fun!
And this is why I LOVE reading your blog. You share the good, you share the bad. Being a parent rocks, there are awesome times to be had. But sometimes? It plain ol' sucks. I appreciate your honesty through all the good and the bad!!!
Yeah parenting stinks - sometimes - but so does everything. Being human can stink sometimes. But you are so right... it isn't that BAD and sometimes it can be totally awesome.
I love how you talk about the good and the bad and all the stuff in between.
I'd be ok with articles like this bring written every day, if it helps someone get through what they feel is a very depressing time. Sure, they probably don't need to be shared by everyone all the time, but it's true - parenting is difficult, and our negative thoughts are not unique. Parents need to know that going in.
But then again I love to talk about things (probably too much), and find that those people who are unwilling to share their feelings or issues need to loosen up a little.
@Julia, from your profile/blog I see that you are from Missouri, and have a son named Truman. Where in MO?
My wife is from Independence (home of Harry Truman)
@Moe (I wish your blogger profile was emoeby too :) I TOTALLY agree that articles like this probably help a lot of parents who just don't have a good support network out there or not a lot of parent friends. And, obviously I'm with you on loving to talk about this stuff and thinking people that don't are whack :)
I'll think about changing my blogger profile, but really, I wish my twitter profile was @moe!
I absolutely agree Erin! Honestly, I find the 'parenting is so hard' articles incredibly annoying. I definitely think there is a lot of value being real and being honest and open about your parenting experience. But I also know this: the good far outweighs the bad in our home. I do blog about the tough times, but most of my blog is positive simply because I see most of our lives as positive. It bothers me that those articles concentrate on nothing but the bad when, from my point of view, the bad is doesn't even come close to having a majority rule.
Moe---I'm from good ol' Jefferson City, MO. Home of the Truman building and state government:)
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