Answers, Part 9

Combining a few questions again! This ended up being rather long... mostly the story of how Ben and I met/fell in love. To spice THIS one up, I searched through the basement and found old pics of Ben and I - so you get to see Ben when he had hair! :)

Nessa asked:
Oh wow... everything I thought to ask - someone else is asking.

One thing, just because I think I have changed so much since having our daughter... how has Annie made you different? From your perspective and your husbands.

Another heavy one! It's so hard for me to even remember what I was like before having Annie. I don't really think my personality has changed much, but I know my priorities have. She really does make me want to be a better person. I feel a lot of pressure to set a good example for her, and to be a nicer person, and not swear (that's failing, so far), and eat better, and be active, etc. etc. etc. While I still care about my job, obviously, I NEED to leave at 4 to see her. It's like a physical pull out of the office, and every red light and bit of traffic on the way to pick her up makes my blood pressure rise. Even though I KNOW she loves daycare and has tons of fun there, I just want to rush there and take her away as quickly as I possibly can! I will admit to losing myself in motherhood a lot. I still cook, read, am involved in some professional activities outside of work and take photos (not of Annie) but not nearly as much as I did before. I'm still trying to find a balance that I'm comfortable with between personal interests and being with Annie, especially as a working mom.

One random thing that has changed since having Annie - I rarely drink anymore. I am a much worse sleeper than I was pre-pregnancy, and drinking makes it worse, so I just don't do it at all anymore. Once in a great while I'll have a glass of wine with a nice dinner but that's pretty much it now. This is kind of sad for me because I really did enjoy having a nice buzz sometimes, but now it's like I don't even feel the effects of alcohol except for not being able to sleep and having a headache the next day. Not worth it.

Ben's perspective: "You're tired more, and you worry about kids more." and then he said "I don't know" a bunch of times, and said we've just changed in obvious and uninteresting ways - we think about her now, and do different things because we have to work around her schedule. He's not big on answering these questions :)

shannondawn100 asked:
I SWEAR I posted questions before but apparently I am nuts and it didn't actually happen. Could have been a dream, like the one I had this morning in which I was an over-confident cheerleader. STRANGE.

My questions:

**What are the top three things you learned from your MS degree? I'm not talking "being a career counselor" things, although they could be. Things about yourself, others, your field, the university, anything!

Oh lordy. I try not to even REMEMBER my MS degree. Ugh. I hate homework. Here's what I learned: I really don't like going to school, and the ONLY reason I would go back is for some ungodly reason I decide to do something that requires another degree. I HIGHLY doubt this will happen, but never say never. This is not to say I don't like learning new things and discussing them with others. I just find other outlets for those beyond a structured degree program.

I learned exactly what I needed to do to get an A in the course within the first week. Some instructors were harder than others, but I could feel them out pretty quickly. Quite a nice talent to have.

About the university - being an online program, I had my doubts of the quality of the coursework and students. I learned that there are some AMAZING people in that program, especially from attending residencies. There are also some real idiots, just like any program, online or brick and mortar.

**What is the story of your romance (meeting, falling in love, getting to marriage, etc.) with your amazing husband Ben? Remember when I thought he was imaginary? :)

That's all for now.
--Shannon

Oh, imaginary Ben. Just like Silent Steve. Our romance began on a crisp fall evening in the year of 2000. I was at a crappy house party in Dinkytown with my friends Mindy and Josh, huddled around a keg in someone's disgusting basement. Finally, my high school friend Megan, who was visiting from UND, called me to tell me she was on her way to pick me up. I left the party, and got into the backseat of Megan's car - Nicki was in the front, and a random guy was in the back. Megan introduced him as "Ben" who worked with her at Byerly's restaurant in Burnsville during high school. I don't remember this, but apparently we went to some dude's apartment in Burnsville. I also don't know why Nicki and Megan were even with Ben, but Ben claims it was because they obviously both had crushes on him. Anyway, the only thing I remember about the night was that I demanded Ben's jacket (same North Face fleece he has now) and he got pissed at me because my hair shed on it.

Somehow we got each others AIM screen names and began chatting online. Ben also frequently dined at Middlebrook (my dorm) with his 2 roommates, Justin and Mike. After exchanging flirtatious IMs back and forth for a few months, we started sometimes having dinner together. Oh yeah, at this point I was also sort of dating this guy from UND, who I didn't really like, and ironically enough, later on ended up dating the aforementioned Megan for a long time. One night, Nicki, Ben, Megan and I had a few beverages in Nicki's dorm room and I think maybe that was when I really decided I needed to break up with the dude. So I did, and...... hmm. Some stuff must have happened where that information was relayed to Ben. Don't remember the details. Nicki had a New Year's Eve party at her parents' house that year, and Ben and I had our first awkward kiss at midnight. We then sat up in Nicki's room the rest of the night where I was too chicken to do much of anything so we just talked. Everyone spent the night at Nicki's, so I guess our first "date" would be going out to Perkins the next morning.

One of the first pics of us, I think - no date on the back but this appears to be a Middlebrook dorm room - Nicki, is this your room?? (PS Ben still wears this shirt... ugh)

Ben and I at B.R.I.A.N. 2001 - my friend Brian O's birthday extravaganza, exactly 20 days after that fateful New Year's Eve.

Our very first Valentine's Day together - we went to Linguini & Bob's and were the youngest there by about 20 years.

Spring Jam 2001, and my least favorite shirt of Ben's of all time.

We dated the rest of freshman year, and into the summer. I was pretty clingy and annoying. I knew I loved him (but didn't say it, don't worry) and was CERTAIN that we were MFEO (to my parents: that's Made For Each Other) which freaked Ben out. So, the August after freshman year (2001, for those keeping track), Ben said (I'm paraphrasing): "hey, I like you and all, but when school starts again, I want to break up so I can sow my wild oats" I was SUPER PISSED. We were broken up for 6 months, during which we'd still hang out and talk and it would inevitably lead to me bawling and freaking out and being a drama queen. I'd TRY to not talk to him and not call him but I literally could not make myself just NOT. It was really annoying. Eventually, I got over him and dated his best friend (also a UND student, random) (Newman - he was the best man at our wedding, and Ben was his best man this summer - so obviously, no hard feelings there) a few times, until HE ALSO broke up with me (seriously?!) and then I just was finally a normal human being and wasn't such a damn clingy girl (most of the time). I DISTINCTLY remember Ben getting drunk and telling me how pissed he was that "he prepared me" to be a good girlfriend to someone, but not him. I now barely remember how we got back together, but obviously we did, in March 2002. And the rest, as they say, is history.

My 21st birthday - we celebrated at Ben's place of employment because he had used a fake ID so they thought he was 22. You can't get arrested for that retroactively, can you? Hope not.

On Ben's 21st birthday - we started out at Sgt Preston's, but got kicked out because Ben threw up on the ground after his FIRST SHOT of the night. Haaaaaaa. Oh, memories.

Oh, except I guess that's not all. So, the memories after this are quite vague, but I remember saying "I love you" to each other for the first time up at my parents' cabin. Neither of us remember when this was, but it was definitely at least 6 months after we got back together, if not over a year after that. When I studied abroad in London from Jan-April 2003, that was when we basically decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Initially, I had a rough time on my study abroad because I knew NO ONE and had never experienced that before. There were many tearful calls to Ben. I am pretty sure I forced the admission of wanting to spend our lives together on the phone, when he would have preferred to wait to have that conversation in person. Oh well.

After we graduated (May 2004), I remember walking around one of the lakes one day, and saying something along the lines of "soo, uhh, I'd like a fall wedding. Typically a wedding takes around a year to plan. So, just FYI". Ben was very uncomfortable with his ring choosing abilities (I'm a little picky), so we went ring shopping together a few times and I picked out what I wanted. Maybe a week later, we were up at my parents' cabin - it was a little rainy but I suggested going out to the dock to drink our coffee, and while we were out there, Ben got down on one knee and said something sweet, and proposed. I was really surprised, since I knew the ring was taking about a month to be made, and I said yes! (but first, I said "hey, that's not the ring I picked" and Ben had to explain that this was just a solitaire setting until my ring was made :)

Whew! I've NEVER written that out before - now I wish I had kept better records (like this blog) because clearly I can't remember crap. I hope people at least enjoy the vintage photos :)