5 Weeks

Our wee one is now one week older - congrats to her, AND to us! A lot of places I've read and people I've talked to say that crying peaks at 6 weeks, so this next week should be a doozy :) I also know there is a big growth spurt at 6 weeks, so I'm bracing myself for that too! I feel that it's unfair to Annie to write this post today, since she didn't sleep well since 3am, and that just doesn't make me want to sing her praises so much :) She has consistently been sleeping a really long stretch (sometimes as long as 7 hours!) for her first sleep of the night, but again, that starts at like 7 or 8pm, so then after 2 or 3am she starts her grunting and writhing around routine, and thus sleep is over for everyone :) I don't get it - clearly she CAN sleep well and soundly in her pack n play, because she does it for a long time, but then after that long stretch she cries every 30 minutes and stops IMMEDIATELY when she's picked up and rocked for like a minute. I guess it really isn't ALWAYS as bad as it was last night, and I should just be grateful for that first long stretch - she'll eventually figure it out :) Here's hoping that magical day is coming up soon! I wish I was better about sleeping when she sleeps during the day - I've always been a bad sleeper, and it takes me like 30 minutes to fall asleep even, so it just seems pointless to even try because I never know if she'll sleep for 20 minutes or 2 hours.

Annie and I went to Mom & Baby group again last Monday - she slept like a little angel the whole time, and it was awesome mostly because all the other babies were fussing :) ha! I really like that class, because it reminds me that almost ALL babies get really fussy, and that we have it pretty darn good! One baby there is 9 weeks old, and apparently doesn't sleep AT ALL during the day and always needs to be held (ALL DAY) and wakes up every 2 hours during the night. So that made me very very grateful for my little Annie who at least knows how to sleep, most of the time :)

Since I've been trying the Eat, Activity, Sleep routine, my day feels like it's broken up in to chunks - and I pack as much as I can into the "Sleep" times as possible! Even cleaning the house and doing the dishes now feels like a break... crazy. The routine is supposed to be about 3 hours between eating, and I do get a little frustrated when it's clear that Annie wants to eat again after 2 hours (or less). I know I shouldn't, but I still do... so I'm trying to just let that go! It is really frustrating sometimes when I have things planned at specific times, because obviously her routine does not fit into a timetable at ALL - I don't want to drive her somewhere right before I think she'll need to eat again, because that's a recipe for disaster - she's usually happiest in the car after she's eaten and had a little time to unwind after her meal, but sometimes when you have things happening at certain times, that doesn't always work out!

Annie has definitely been getting more alert and being happier during her "activity" times - she will go for longer stretches before she starts fussing which is so nice. One of her favorite "activities" is staring at our ceiling fan in the living room - which isn't even ON - but seriously, you walk around and she is always stretching her neck back to look at the fan, or the ceiling, or window - it's hilarious :)

There have definitely been some real lows this week - pretty much all week, Annie has been EXTREMELY fussy in the evenings - it usually starts with me trying to feed her when she wakes up, and her eating for a minute or two and then just starting SCREAMING (like turning purple almost) at the boob, but still trying to latch on. So I burp her, and then try again, she'll go for it, and be breathing really shallow, kind of gulping, and then start screaming again. It is BAFFLING and SO FRUSTRATING - because she is clearly hungry but just can't pull it together! So then I start feeling like something must be wrong with me, or my milk, or ...... something. But she eats normally for the rest of the day, and will eat normally in a few hours. It would just be great if she could let us know what the heck her problem is during the evening, and I promise, we would try to solve it! I think that is the worst part of her fussy times - both Ben and I are problem solvers and we want to FIX whatever is bothering her. One night this week, I just started crying when she cried because she just sounds so sad! Luckily, Ben is home at this time of day (how fun for him!!) so he can take her while I compose myself. She usually will be okay for awhile when being bounced around or walked around or something, but she still looks good and pissed! I don't know if it's possible for her to have gas ONLY in the evenings?? Sometimes she is tooting a bit while eating, so maybe it's just too much for her body to think about at one time (eating and tooting). At about 7 or so, she'll usually eat normally and then be just fine. Maybe when she's 5, I'll ask her what the heck her problem was all those days ;)

This issue makes it extremely hard for us to go anywhere or have anyone over in the evenings, which is when most people can do things. One night, my friends Leigh and Jamie were coming over and I called them to tell them Annie was freaking and to not bother. Luckily, by the time they came over, we had gotten her to calm down and fall asleep (the bouncer, swaddle, and the blessed white noise app were the combo that worked) so they did end up getting to stay and even getting to see her acting normal for a bit. The next night, we went to Lori and Jeff's and she was again being insane, but calmed down after about an hour of being a nutjob. It's just really stressful for Ben and I because it's like we're dealing with a time bomb whenever we leave the house - will she be okay, or will she start FREAKING out?? We never know! I took her to Target for the first time (after she was fed, and changed), and she did fall asleep in the carseat but woke up in the store... she started crying a little twice, but stopped after I took her out and bounced her around a few times. It was still scary though, but we managed to get everything on my list! As my dad has told me a few times, the only person that is really going to be bothered by her crying is me - people just feel bad for you if you have a newborn that's crying - it's when you have a toddler having a tantrum that they start to hate you ;)

One of the purchases from Target - she's not too into it yet, but hopefully eventually she'll like it!

There have been times this week (ok, MANY times) that I have wanted to trade Annie in for a better model - like one that can be taken out of the house without extreme anxiety, which it seems like EVERYONE else who has had a baby gets to do! I know that is irrational, and lots of people don't go out with newborns at all... but of the 3 babies I know, all were taken out a ton as newborns and were seemingly always perfect angels :) I just keep reminding myself that it WILL get better (or we will just learn to never leave the house at certain times of day), and that "this too shall pass"...

I tried the moby wrap (borrowed from Nate and Molly - thanks!) for a walk yesterday - she went in and was drowsy and fell asleep, we walked to the Ginkgo and after we had sat for a bit and had our drinks, she woke up and was none to pleased! She was fine once we took her out (and by fine, I mean, still looking angry but not screaming). I'm going to keep trying and hopefully she will consent to being in it even when awake, or might even LIKE it... the directions on the wrap even said that babies can sense if you are uncomfortable wearing the wrap, and that sometimes you have to keep trying before they like it. I thought it would be super hard to use, but after trying it out a few times, it actually is pretty easy to get set up - it only takes about a minute to wrap up, and is really comfy.

This was a failed attempt at a walk - she was sleeping when we put her in the stroller, but apparently decided a few houses down that something wasn't right in her world... and yes, I am covering up her zit with my finger :)

Another fun part of this week is Annie's baby acne - it got SO bad! Seriously, she had the biggest whitehead zit EVER on her cheek, and it took ALL of our willpower not to pop it :) It is much much better today, but boy was it a doozy! I read that baby acne is caused by the mother's hormones leaving the baby's system... maybe Annie's is worse because I have really bad skin - sorry baby! :)

So there you have it - another week gone by, and another week we are closer to when Annie will become a fun baby instead of a crazy one :)